Here’s a very sarcastic, very tongue-in-cheek version of Breakfast Table Conversation: A few headlines to joke about over breakfast this weekend:

Newsflash: Americans are overweight (and ferries aren’t going to take it anymore).

A new Federal law now requires pilots to have a 10-hour minimum rest period prior to a flight duty period.

“The new rule sets a 10-hour minimum rest period prior to a flight duty period, a two-hour increase over the old rules. The new rule also mandates that a pilot must have an opportunity for eight hours of uninterrupted sleep within the 10-hour rest period.”

Ha, so I guess pilots with significant others, social lives, and kids are out?

USA TODAY reports that 65% of us turn on the television when we can’t sleep in hotel rooms.

Yawn.

A woman is upset because her boss forces her to share a hotel room on business trips. More ridiculous than the boss’ behavior is the fact that this woman allowed it to happen more than once.

Cheers… Enjoy the mimosas this weekend!