The Bachelor

The Bachelor

“Life’s too boring to leave stones unturned man.”

“That’s awfully convenient to say after the fact.”

“I’m not one to sit on the sidelines.”

“Blah blah blah.”

“I’m not trying to make excuses.”

“But you’re just repeating what others have said.”

“Who before me has said that?”

“A lot of men.”

“Well, to hell with them.”

“You don’t seem too disturbed by your actions of late.”

“I guess the writing was on the wall with this one, you know?”

“You truly believe all of what you’re saying?”

“I think so.”

“Don’t you ever feel guilty?”

“For living my life?”

“No, for being selfish about it.”

“It is mine, man.”

“I suppose it is.”

“For sure.”

“I just wish you weren’t so whatever about it.”

“What would you like me to say?”

“It’d be nice to know you care about something.”

“I care about a lot of things.”

“It doesn’t seem like it.”

“I think I just tend to share the wealth a bit more than others.”

“You see, you sound like a child.”

“Who told you to grow up?”

“No one. I did it on my own.”

“Congratulations.”

“Don’t be such a prick.”

“Here you are telling me how to live my life, and I’m the prick?”

“Yes, listen to you.”

“Shouldn’t you be ironing your tie or something?”

“That’s enough with the attitude.”

“What attitude? You almost let it in your drink for Christ’s sake. What will people think?”

“Oh, fuck you.”

“Fuck me?”

“What makes you so much better?”

“Because I’m not telling you what to do.”

“I think you should look in the mirror once in a while.”

“Stop telling me what to do.”

“Someone has to tell you. Look at yourself. You think it’s one gigantic game.”

“So then, you tell me what it is.”

“It’s about love and family.”

“See, it is you who repeats what others have said.”

“I believe that fully.”

“Aren’t you going through a divorce?”

“God has a plan for all of us.”

“If I were you, I’d tell God to fuck off.”

“Listen to you.”

“Doesn’t he seem to be putting you through a lot?”

“His road has obstacles and challenges that we must rise above.”

“Well, thank God for that.”

“You could see it in your own life if you ever cared enough to look.”

“I’m sure I could.”

“Don’t you feel like it’s worth a few minutes of your time?”

“Oh, I think about a lot of things.”

“You’re so full of yourself.”

“Not really.”

“It’s obvious.”

“Is it?”

“You seem to have more fun than most.”

“But not in reality.”

“You seem to enjoy yourself.”

“Just as others enjoy their lives.”

“You don’t think you should be more grateful?”

“It’s all a matter of perspective.”

“I can’t believe you’ll sit here and say that.”

“Well, you asked didn’t you?”

“It doesn’t make much sense to me.”

“I understand.”

“What’s going to happen next?”

“I think I’ll move to Mexico if all else fails.”

“What do you like about it?”

“I’m not sure yet. That’s what I’d like to see.”

“But it’s so dangerous.”

“They’re all just as scared as you.”

“I’m sure you’ve gotten to know them quite well.”

“I would say that I have.”

“I thought you were going to quit all that shit.”

“I was never very good at predicting the future.”

“Don’t you feel bad about it?”

“Make yourself happy my friend. No one else will.”

“You’ve come up with some pretty convenient one-liners.”

“Truth is a funny thing.”

Finally his friend cracked a smile and said, “I love ya buddy, but you’ve certainly changed.”

“Who am I to blow against the wind?”

 

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